Feeling Lost in a Broken System
Found this in my journal from February 2024:
“I am lost with this economy and how we work and how much stress everyone is under for what? House payments and bullshit spending?
We won’t know the impact of social media and this fucked up level of capitalism for a few years, I think. But what do we do in the meantime? How do we function in this space?
What do we do with our time?
I worked for 3-4 hours today on our group paper about improving mental health care access for immigrants. How FUCKED UP is it that we need social service programs just to IMPROVE access, much less get it to where it needs to be, much less just allow ethical and humane immigration policies in this country.
I am lost. Struggling. Physically, I feel ok, but I haven’t made time to find doctors, eye care, or a dentist, much less a therapist. Ugh.
I worry about all the kids and what they’re going through. I worry about everything collapsing around us and then what? Where do we go? What functional skills do I have? I can edit a paper and listen, but what good is that when everything collapses?”
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Fast forward two years and the job market is worse, people are more stressed, and the U.S. is a disaster of an infrastructure and government. I’m privileged and grateful for my house and friends and family, but am definitely feeling this, still.